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Escape from Skankatrazposted by MTA on 02/06/2008

Britney has escaped from Skankatraz!  To our readers in the Westwood/Los Angeles area:  be on the lookout for a white female resembling a bloated whale carcas.  Will likely be drinking Kentucky Gentlemen out of the bottle or getting humped by a skeezy dude in an alley.

Here’s the story. 

Britney escaped from UCLA medical center by making a rope ladder out of hospital issued panties.  The doctors were trying to relieve her slag whore symptoms by making her wear underpants but apparently she was stashing them under the bed, along with generic oxycontin and clown makeup.   

Britney should be considered armed and extremely dangerous.  Do not approach unless you want to get your dick bitten off! 


You get what you give...
Hey Fed-Ex how did you like Britney winning pretty much everything at the MTV VMAs? :-) Did you notice how calm, rational and lucid she is now? Dude, she’s back and you can bet on it: she will get everything back! :-) Go Britney! Screw Fed-Ex!!!
Posted By: Fed-Ex_Nothing-More

I love how Brit gets slagged off on here, it shows that Brit rises above this and doesnt slag Mr K Fed off. K Fedd is so low in the ranking that he markets himself as Mr Britney Spears. Should tell you alot, it should be copy right her name. Britney will rise from this and whipp K Fedds ass left right and centre and it has started already with the PR Guru going to Britney and not him. I hope that Mr K Fed father of the year...(haha) looks after his first wifes children too...i guess there is no money to suck out of his first wife so of course hes not interested. Anyway, have to run and write something nice on Britneys site.
Posted By: Britneyloyalfan

i was on here when it was all about KFED my man but this whole britney bashing garbage is lame...leave that shit to the tabloids
Posted By: tc34

is this site a joke? seriously? "k-fed fan club"??? i don’t see a thing about k-fed on here -- it’s all about bashing britney... it’s even titled, "everything you want to know about Mr. Britney Spears" HAHAHAHA k-fed can’t even get his "own" website without mentioning the person who made him "famous" -- BRITNEY! pathetic. the only reason britney has had a breakdown is because k-fed has manipulated her, he has manipulated her family, he has manipulated his own children & he has manipulated the judicial system. where was dad of the year when they were married? oh yah - he was in vegas spending britney’s money. loser
Posted By: anonymous

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Here we ohhhh again. posted by MTA on 01/31/2008

Britney Spears has been taken to the hospital for the second time this month.  This casts doubt on my theory that she’s suffering from menstrual tremors, caused by a lack of vaginal tension.  Here’s Brit’s police escort, from the Anti-CrabSkank detail:


New episodes of House just started again, so I am back to being a medical expert.  Here’s my list of things Brit is omega constellation replica watches probably suffering from:

-  Addiction to painkillers
-  Fuglitis (untreatable)
-  Delerium Tremens
-  Dog herpes
-  Morbid Obesity with chronic need for attention


Hey Jenny!
Yore dumb!!!
Posted By: MTA

You guys are so freaking stupid. K Fed is nothing, was nothing, and continues to be nothing, especially since britneys gone. Its fuckin ridiculous how he got 10 million from her and 2 kids and isn’t giving her crap in return. so you guys shut up, because britney MADE k fed what he is. and he still aint much.
Posted By: xspiffyjennyx

well first off..
Brittany does not have any crabs or any disease at all. Brittany cant have dog herpes okayy! I mean come on get real. She’s pretty and she sings very good. So leave her alone, cant you see she’s already been threw enough!! -Missy
Posted By: Molissa

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Britman Beginsposted by MTA on 01/28/2008

There’s nothing funny about the death of Heath Ledger.  And apparently even Brit is aware of this.  I guess spending her waking life embodying tragedy has given her insight on the matter.  When she heard about the young actor’s death she immediately drove to the convenience store at 4:15 am to buy Fiddle Faddle and omega replica watches a pregnancy test.  But she was gonna do that anyway.  The touching part was that she made the trip in full Joker makeup:

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ohsapposted by MTA on 01/27/2008
I am doing this update from an iPod touch, which is totally fire and I bet kevin probably has replica watches a personal assistNt with huge boobs just to carry his around. I know he doesn’t have an iPhone because you can’t use a woman-attracting earpiece with a blue led to prove its not an imitation earpiece e.

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Grammy's Are Goposted by MTA on 01/24/2008

The Writers Guild of America is on strike.  The foremost job of that union is to come up with dialogue for Kevin on One Tree Hill.  The WGA is on strike because coming up with lines hot enough to match Kevin's fire-ness requires them to break every OSHA standard on the books.  So they need more money.  I never said anything bad about anyone who wants to stack cake, and I still won't.

The WGA killed the Golden Globes, because fuck the Golden Globes.  They aren't going to kill the Grammys, though.  And thank God for that.  Here is a list of the Grammy awards Kevin is up for in 2008*:

Hottest Fire
Most Raps Spit about Cake
Ugliest Ex Wife
Best Decision to Get Divorced
R&B Duo or Group

Expect to see plenty of these babies joining Kevin's other awards and Father of the Year coffee mugs:

*Not all of these Grammys are publicized to the same extent as traditional awards, such as Gayest Lite Jazz Rock.

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